FORGET LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS. THIS APP LETS YOU KISS YOUR LOVED ONES OVER THE PHONE

Absence, they say, makes the heart grow fonder. With the way technology is advancing daily and the bridge between here and there is no more than a little piece of tech, the heart might just stop growing affections one day. In a bid to reduce the rate at which you miss your loved ones, there is a new piece of tech that ensures that you would keep showing love to them, even when they are miles away. In a new twist of events, and we are not making this up, you can now send kisses to your loved ones… via the phone. No, we don’t mean all those kissing sounds you make while on long calls and all, but actual kisses this time around. As much as we think these things are just plain evil and disgusting (yeah…shoot me), this might be the solution to a lot of long distance relationships. Especially, for those who find it hard to keep their lips idle (get a grip!!!)

Called Kissenger, what this device does is mainly connect to your iPhone, then you kiss on it. It registers the information it has received based on what you give to it and then, transmits it to the other side, where it replicates the experience. We think we deserve to get a rating function on it too. That way, you get to know how good a kisser you are and stop your partner from just plain lying to you. That was totally unrelated, but we just couldn’t let that pass.

Going back to the subject of the day, the device – Kissenger, as they would like to have us call it – bears resemblance to a large phone dock and has pressure sensitive pads on the front. The pad, made of silicone material, is where you place your kiss upon and this registers the pressure of your kiss to the application. When this is sent to the recipient, it is left to them to press the phone to their lips or cheeks, after which their pads push off the kiss. Creepy people, don’t be going around kissing yourself somewhere else. We got our eyes on you.

Given that this technology is a new one, and was revealed via a post that first showed up on the lawn of Mashable, we are not exactly sure how everything is supposed to pan out really. Asides from the fact that it would be hard for a pad to curl around lips and recreate the original feel, whether people would warm up to a silicone and metal combination being the next thing in their relationship is also an issue. Also, the pad is made up of small pistons under it, and the top is just a flat bed of silicone material. At best, what it would do is replicate a polite peck on the cheek. Don’t look at us, y’all know how you do your business.

For now, this platform is still in development, and the prototypes are built to work on only iPhone units. Likewise, the Kissenger can communicate information with the mobile phone via the use of the headphone jack, which means that iPhone 7 users won’t be getting some long-distance kisses anytime soon. The technology was developed by the researchers over at the City University London’s Imagineering Lab. One has to ponder what goes on in those labs, for this kind of invention to have come out of it.

Kissenger has been parading itself as the first mobile kiss messenger in the world, but that could not be farther from the truth. According to the website of the first ever kiss messenger of this same sort, there were ‘lips’ under their silicone pads to further make the experience as close to the real thing as possible. The mechanical lips were made to roll and move in a manner that mirrored the kissing pattern of the sender, and they were delivered in that way to the recipient. However, this one can take first place if that older one never saw the light of day, since it was shrouded in mystery then.

Emma Yann Zhang, who worked on the prototype, has said: “Kissing is the most direct and universal expression of intimacy and affection.” Speaking further on the subject to the audience at Love and Sex with Robots Congress, Zhang remarked that “It’s a way for us to bond and maintain intimacy in our relationships.” Well, just time will tell on that one.